I hate all girls vehemently.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
