the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
