they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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