just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
