i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
