Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
