Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
