So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
And then my night got REAL pukey
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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