I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
