I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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