dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
