So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
