He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
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