just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
