Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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