i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
