Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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