she was so not down for the gang bang
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
cat food counts as protein by the way
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
