your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
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He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
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I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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