Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I need moral support for this bender
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
