My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
