Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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