so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
