Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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