are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
