then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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