after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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