shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
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