I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
