Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
We talked him into tasing himself.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
