Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
