you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
