If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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