People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
