The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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