Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
