didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i would punch a child for taco bell
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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