dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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