Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
it glows. i had to have it.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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