Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
