i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
