I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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