What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
