I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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