just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
