I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
