am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
