just tell him i said nine months
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
