I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
