i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
