Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Randomize