This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
