im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
