whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
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