Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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