I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
