what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Randomize
