Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
