This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
