I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
