Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
